Whiskey would make a great shopping companion. I often did things better three sheets into the wind!
I, unlike other women, despise the practice of going to a hundred shops fitting clothes over and over and over. I like clothes, but I usually just see a dress I like while grocery shopping, go into the shop and get it. I do not set aside an entire day walking around malls. I just needed that vent.
And thank the friends who ambushed my house bearing gifts, love and good wishes on Saturday. I'm totally grateful for reminding me that you are there whenever I need you.
After a few awkward conversations following a really big fight my best pal the big gay queen and and I are back to normal. Thank God! Even if he sometimes just passes by the house to put ice in his water bottle and air kiss me I miss him when he's not leaving a waft of cologne in his wake. Today he dropped by to check up on me because he said I sounded down in dumps on the phone. The lying rat, he is the one down in the dumps. I'm floating on top. :(
Anyway, better post next time! :)
Monday, March 8, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
21 Questions
I've missed the meme world of blogging. The nonsensical questions, never-ending though they may be, that your online friends read religiously and comment, "OMG me too to numbers 3, 8 and 16!!" So I thought I'd dust off a questionaire I did in 2008 and put fresh life to it. Enjoy! I sure had fun answering!
LAST PERSON WHO
1. Slept in a bed beside you: Hmmm... Go ahead and laugh laugh laugh!
2. Saw you cry: Nobody, I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower and cried while I tweeted about how great life is. Basically lied.
3. Went to the movies with you: My Big Gay Pal, a few months ago. I don't know what we watched.
4. You went to the mall with: I went alone to hunt for a new phone. Fail!
5. You went to dinner with: TJ, on my birthday last year. :( I need to go out soon. Seriously trying to remember if I haven't been out since then? No way!
6. You talked to on the phone: Day before yesterday. I don't like her.
7. Said 'I love you' to and really meant it: Earlier today to TJ.
8. Broke your heart: My mother. The sad part is that she had this spot 2 years ago as well!!
9. Made you laugh: Some random Twitter person who said JZ might knock up the Queen during his state visit!
WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue: Tongue, my more is too cute to mess with!
2. Be serious or be funny: I find being funny eludes me and being serious makes me come of as scary. So now I settle for timid and unsure wall-flower act.
3. Drink whole or skim milk: Full cream please! I like to live dangerously! *wiggle eyebrows lasciviously*
4. Die in a fire or drown: I'm not ready to die, I haven't made my first million. But if I absolutely had to choose a way, in my sleep while dreaming about being with TJ.
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies: My enemies, I'm done pretending to love my mom.
ARE YOU?
1. Simple or complicated: I’m a fucking LABYRINTH! This answer has not changed in 2 years. Ha!
2. Gay: No :( It would be such a good way to explain my dislike for my movies too!! But I can speak Lesbionic.
3. Hardcore: I've heard that's a category in porn classification, so TJ would be the best person to answer this question. Giggle
DO YOU PREFER?
1. Flowers or candy: I can't stand both! :( I'd like some books or DVD's instead.
2. Grey or black: Both and the shades in between.
3. Color or Black and white photos: Chuh!!
4. Lust or love: I've learnt that the love of a good man can make a woman move mountains. And his sex too! :) :)
5. Sunrise or sunset: Sunset please, I love me some sleep and dreams!!
6. M&Ms or Skittles: Honestly! I HATE candy!
8. Staying up late or waking up early: Waking up early! I love getting stuff done as early as possibly then have a whole day stretching before me to do with as I please!
DO YOU PREFER?
1. Sun or moon: Moon I guess, more natural for some slap and tickle with my baby!
2.Winter or Fall: Winter, Hurrah!
3. Left or right: Dumb question… well dumber than the rest anyhoo.
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends: 2 best friends
5. Sun or rain: Rain
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream: Blughr!
7. Vodka or Jack: Jack please! As old as you can get him! On the rocks. Doing a little dance. Yum yum.
ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it: 20:20 believe it or not, the same time I did this before!! Cool!
2. Name: Patches
4. Where were you born: In a hospital
5. What is your birth date: Why?
6. What do you want: Money, lots of it. Well, just enough for my car payment.
7. Where do you want to live: A little quiet village.
8. How many kids do you want: I have enough, 2.
9. What would you want to name a girl: I've always liked Diana, till that British stick insect polluted the name!
10. What would you want to name a boy: Anthony-James. Yes written like that.
11. You want to get married: Not anymore.
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)
1. Had a bf? A new one or my regular one?
2. Bought something you didn't need: A Harry Potter DVD but TJ bought it and I think we needed it.
4. Sang in front of people: Yeah, well I sang two lines for TJ.
5. Been kissed: Plenty.
6. Been hugged: Unfortunately, yes. :)
7. Felt stupid: Yes. A whole bunch.
9. Got drunk: Nope, but I spoke to several people who were drunk.
10. Got high: Nope. I can't even joke about drugs. Bad. For. One.
11. Danced Crazy: We have Hip-Hop Abs, we don't know how not to dance crazy!!
12. Gotten your hair cut: No, but I want to. Costs a small fortune to maintain my hair.
13. Cried: Oh yeah.
14. Lied: Despite what I said earlier, I haven't really lied. Life is great, I just have to believe that!
LAST PERSON WHO
1. Slept in a bed beside you: Hmmm... Go ahead and laugh laugh laugh!
2. Saw you cry: Nobody, I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower and cried while I tweeted about how great life is. Basically lied.
3. Went to the movies with you: My Big Gay Pal, a few months ago. I don't know what we watched.
4. You went to the mall with: I went alone to hunt for a new phone. Fail!
5. You went to dinner with: TJ, on my birthday last year. :( I need to go out soon. Seriously trying to remember if I haven't been out since then? No way!
6. You talked to on the phone: Day before yesterday. I don't like her.
7. Said 'I love you' to and really meant it: Earlier today to TJ.
8. Broke your heart: My mother. The sad part is that she had this spot 2 years ago as well!!
9. Made you laugh: Some random Twitter person who said JZ might knock up the Queen during his state visit!
WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue: Tongue, my more is too cute to mess with!
2. Be serious or be funny: I find being funny eludes me and being serious makes me come of as scary. So now I settle for timid and unsure wall-flower act.
3. Drink whole or skim milk: Full cream please! I like to live dangerously! *wiggle eyebrows lasciviously*
4. Die in a fire or drown: I'm not ready to die, I haven't made my first million. But if I absolutely had to choose a way, in my sleep while dreaming about being with TJ.
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies: My enemies, I'm done pretending to love my mom.
ARE YOU?
1. Simple or complicated: I’m a fucking LABYRINTH! This answer has not changed in 2 years. Ha!
2. Gay: No :( It would be such a good way to explain my dislike for my movies too!! But I can speak Lesbionic.
3. Hardcore: I've heard that's a category in porn classification, so TJ would be the best person to answer this question. Giggle
DO YOU PREFER?
1. Flowers or candy: I can't stand both! :( I'd like some books or DVD's instead.
2. Grey or black: Both and the shades in between.
3. Color or Black and white photos: Chuh!!
4. Lust or love: I've learnt that the love of a good man can make a woman move mountains. And his sex too! :) :)
5. Sunrise or sunset: Sunset please, I love me some sleep and dreams!!
6. M&Ms or Skittles: Honestly! I HATE candy!
8. Staying up late or waking up early: Waking up early! I love getting stuff done as early as possibly then have a whole day stretching before me to do with as I please!
DO YOU PREFER?
1. Sun or moon: Moon I guess, more natural for some slap and tickle with my baby!
2.Winter or Fall: Winter, Hurrah!
3. Left or right: Dumb question… well dumber than the rest anyhoo.
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends: 2 best friends
5. Sun or rain: Rain
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream: Blughr!
7. Vodka or Jack: Jack please! As old as you can get him! On the rocks. Doing a little dance. Yum yum.
ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it: 20:20 believe it or not, the same time I did this before!! Cool!
2. Name: Patches
4. Where were you born: In a hospital
5. What is your birth date: Why?
6. What do you want: Money, lots of it. Well, just enough for my car payment.
7. Where do you want to live: A little quiet village.
8. How many kids do you want: I have enough, 2.
9. What would you want to name a girl: I've always liked Diana, till that British stick insect polluted the name!
10. What would you want to name a boy: Anthony-James. Yes written like that.
11. You want to get married: Not anymore.
IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)
1. Had a bf? A new one or my regular one?
2. Bought something you didn't need: A Harry Potter DVD but TJ bought it and I think we needed it.
4. Sang in front of people: Yeah, well I sang two lines for TJ.
5. Been kissed: Plenty.
6. Been hugged: Unfortunately, yes. :)
7. Felt stupid: Yes. A whole bunch.
9. Got drunk: Nope, but I spoke to several people who were drunk.
10. Got high: Nope. I can't even joke about drugs. Bad. For. One.
11. Danced Crazy: We have Hip-Hop Abs, we don't know how not to dance crazy!!
12. Gotten your hair cut: No, but I want to. Costs a small fortune to maintain my hair.
13. Cried: Oh yeah.
14. Lied: Despite what I said earlier, I haven't really lied. Life is great, I just have to believe that!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Something to ponder
I'm amazed at how self-destructive I can be.
Honestly. Take today for example, I am supposed to go to the bank to get some money so I can buy groceries. But that would include getting properly dressed, combing my hair and getting out of the house. I'd rather just not have ice cream, run really low on facewash and bake my own bread. :)
Although, really, I'm scared to go to the bank because I'm whittling away the merger balance and have to face the reality that I need some cheddar to come in. I have two checks due at the end of the month but they'll probably be late, I'll have to chase them down and by that time I will have accrued some debt. The vicious circle of middle-class.
But most self-destructive is my perchant to ruin every good thing I have. Forget for a minute the possibilty that I look like a hair crazy mad woman wearing old sweats and think of me as I see myself every time I take a bath. A sexy, beautiful glistening goddess of perfectily proportioned parts. Why on earth wouldn't the rest of my life be as harmonious my ass is with my legs?
I have the answer. I'm negative. I expect and therefore always get the worst! The double jeopardy of this breathtaking. While I'm never surprised when things go wrong, I draw a sense of macabre satisfaction at having prepared for it but still get disappointed that I wasn't surprised by something else.
So, while I doubt I'd be able to change being negative, I've made a resolution to keep it to myself. Because I've realized it is contagious and poisonous.
Honestly. Take today for example, I am supposed to go to the bank to get some money so I can buy groceries. But that would include getting properly dressed, combing my hair and getting out of the house. I'd rather just not have ice cream, run really low on facewash and bake my own bread. :)
Although, really, I'm scared to go to the bank because I'm whittling away the merger balance and have to face the reality that I need some cheddar to come in. I have two checks due at the end of the month but they'll probably be late, I'll have to chase them down and by that time I will have accrued some debt. The vicious circle of middle-class.
But most self-destructive is my perchant to ruin every good thing I have. Forget for a minute the possibilty that I look like a hair crazy mad woman wearing old sweats and think of me as I see myself every time I take a bath. A sexy, beautiful glistening goddess of perfectily proportioned parts. Why on earth wouldn't the rest of my life be as harmonious my ass is with my legs?
I have the answer. I'm negative. I expect and therefore always get the worst! The double jeopardy of this breathtaking. While I'm never surprised when things go wrong, I draw a sense of macabre satisfaction at having prepared for it but still get disappointed that I wasn't surprised by something else.
So, while I doubt I'd be able to change being negative, I've made a resolution to keep it to myself. Because I've realized it is contagious and poisonous.
Friday, February 19, 2010
A matter of confidence
I saw this game on Oprah once, it begins "if you really new me then you would know that..." and then the person reveals some deep dark secret about themselves. I think this has the makings of a meme! I will look into it when I have readers.
Anyway, if you knew me you'd know that what I have written here is hardly up to scratch. While I won't claim to enliven the Funeral Notices with my writing brilliance I could put a spark on those boring fuckers.
I used to write, quite extensively and well in fact. Until I lost my confidence. Not only my writing confidence but overall confidence. I've since slowly been trying to rebuild and call on those skills I once was mistress of.
It's not easy I tell you, because nothing is as unforgiveable as reading boring crap written badly. Am I not right? Of course I am.
This blog is going to be my springboard back to literaly genius. As that fugly Iyanla says, it's time I stepped into my greatness! Oh and please don't roll your eyes and think "oh another black sistah trying to relate and quoting Iyanla" I don't roll like that.
Aha aha aha! I got it, "Step into my greatness!" as a tag line? Sounds catchy and conceited, just like me on a good day!! Hmmm... I'll try it on for size.
Step in my greatness! (eh nah, it's stupid, the search continues)
Anyway, if you knew me you'd know that what I have written here is hardly up to scratch. While I won't claim to enliven the Funeral Notices with my writing brilliance I could put a spark on those boring fuckers.
I used to write, quite extensively and well in fact. Until I lost my confidence. Not only my writing confidence but overall confidence. I've since slowly been trying to rebuild and call on those skills I once was mistress of.
It's not easy I tell you, because nothing is as unforgiveable as reading boring crap written badly. Am I not right? Of course I am.
This blog is going to be my springboard back to literaly genius. As that fugly Iyanla says, it's time I stepped into my greatness! Oh and please don't roll your eyes and think "oh another black sistah trying to relate and quoting Iyanla" I don't roll like that.
Aha aha aha! I got it, "Step into my greatness!" as a tag line? Sounds catchy and conceited, just like me on a good day!! Hmmm... I'll try it on for size.
Step in my greatness! (eh nah, it's stupid, the search continues)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Fly in the ointment
Isn't there always an a fly in the ointment?
Of course there is, there is no fool proof plan, no perfect situation and no glitch-free route. And yet when you hit those figurative potholes of life, you are always surprised and if you're like me left staring up at sky and thinking, "God did you have to put me on my back so I could look up to you?"
It's been one of those weeks you love to see the back ends of. I have no real reason to look forward to the weekends. It's all the same to me. So I guess just this once, I'm looking forward to it. I've spent the day thinking about how I could make this weekend seem like a real break for me. I've enlisted the help of my three trusted pals, my kids and maid. We're getting together later today to compare notes. I'm all for a braai and a game-off! But then I'm boring. The challenge is that it must all be done here at home.
And you wonder what that fly in the ointment is right? If I can write about it without wanting to cry after the weekend, I'll share!
Speaking of which, I need a pay off line for this here blog.
Of course there is, there is no fool proof plan, no perfect situation and no glitch-free route. And yet when you hit those figurative potholes of life, you are always surprised and if you're like me left staring up at sky and thinking, "God did you have to put me on my back so I could look up to you?"
It's been one of those weeks you love to see the back ends of. I have no real reason to look forward to the weekends. It's all the same to me. So I guess just this once, I'm looking forward to it. I've spent the day thinking about how I could make this weekend seem like a real break for me. I've enlisted the help of my three trusted pals, my kids and maid. We're getting together later today to compare notes. I'm all for a braai and a game-off! But then I'm boring. The challenge is that it must all be done here at home.
And you wonder what that fly in the ointment is right? If I can write about it without wanting to cry after the weekend, I'll share!
Speaking of which, I need a pay off line for this here blog.
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